


You Can’t Hide (Your Lyin’ Eyes)

by NewLeeland



Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, F/M, Inspired by Fanfiction, Inspired by Music, Post Break-up, but they're working on it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-31
Updated: 2017-05-31
Packaged: 2018-11-07 10:39:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11057235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NewLeeland/pseuds/NewLeeland
Summary: A lot can happen in two and half weeks.But some wounds take more time to heal.Some sort of continuation of "truth spoke in whispers (will tear you apart)" by the brilliant guineapiggie.





	You Can’t Hide (Your Lyin’ Eyes)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [guineapiggie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/guineapiggie/gifts).
  * Inspired by [truth spoke in whispers (will tear you apart)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11014866) by [guineapiggie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/guineapiggie/pseuds/guineapiggie). 



> I really shouldn't have. But well. I am who I am and there was some music that inspired me. So.
> 
> Big thanks to [guineapiggie](http://archiveofourown.org/users/guineapiggie/pseuds/guineapiggie) for being such a big inspiration and letting me use one of her storylines.

* * *

 

As it turns out, a lot can happen in two and a half weeks.

* * *

_She gets up and pours herself a strong one_

_And stares out at the stars up in the sky_

_Another night, it’s gonna be a long one_

_She draws the shade and hangs her head to cry_

* * *

Jyn’s sleep doesn’t get any better when the second night comes.

The day was kinda nice, she has to admit. A bit awkward, for sure, but what did she expect?

It appears as if Cassian hasn’t yet decided how to deal with this sudden, tremendous change. Four years are a long time, even if it doesn’t seem like it. She can still remember his laugh, waking up to an already prepared breakfast and a note on the desk. Or even better, him watching her sleep like she was the only thing in the world worth looking at.

Teresa is oblivious to all this. For her, Cassian is just someone her mother seems to know. Not quite like uncle Bodhi, but something similar. So she happily coos when he offers her some milk and cookies and waves at him when he leaves for work.

Dinner is a rather silent affair, safe for Teresa’s unperturbed chatter. From time to time, she catches Cassian looking at their daughter with glances she previously thought were only meant for her.

She would love to run away. To avoid facing sixteen more days like this.

Four year ago, she would have. Opened the window, climbed up, hopped into the car and drove away. But now she can’t. She has an anchor, a tiny, beautiful anchor that currently snores.

She wonders how all of this happened. She used to be such an independent and strong person. Now she’s afraid of anything. Of the next morning, of leaving her daughter alone for even a second.

With soft-footed steps, she hurries to the kitchen, careful not to awake Cassian, who insisted on sleeping on the couch.

He always has some Mezcal at the ready, Jyn knows that. It is anything but hard to locate a bottle and a glass is quickly at hand.

She quit drinking when she first realized that she was carrying Teresa. Although her first reaction would have been to drink herself into a stupor.

She pours herself a strong one, downing it in one gulp. The familiar burn in her throat is so very welcome.

Subconsciously, she wanders to the window, musters the night sky and its stars, who are still bright and visible out here. But she won’t find answers up there.

A long time ago, gazing at the stars made her feel some weird connection to her parents, all of them long gone. Would they be proud of her? Disgusted by her cowardice? She’ll never know.

Now, the night sky is nothing but another thing she has lost.

Maybe it's the alcohol, maybe it’s the storm of feelings raging inside her.

Jyn draws the shade of the window and hangs her head. The tears are already there and she puts her fist into her mouth to keep her sobs quiet.

She can’t say what would be worse: Waking Teresa or waking Cassian. Her daughter would be worried and Cassian would perhaps see it as a pathetic attempt to hog some sympathy.

She returns to the bed twenty minutes later, never realizing someone had been watching her with sad brown eyes the whole time.

* * *

 

_Green eyes they tell it all._

_The more she takes, the harder she falls._

* * *

They fall into some kind of routine after a few days. Cassian doesn’t tell her and she doesn’t ask him how he has so much free time at his disposal, but he doesn’t go to work at the next day or any of the following days.

Instead, he has breakfast with Teresa, spoils her a bit with extra cookies when “Mama isn’t looking“ and asks her some meaningless questions. Jyn has to hide her face behind a mug more often than not.

It just hurts too much.

In the afternoon, he teaches Teresa Spanish and it is so very obvious that she has a natural talent for it. Cassian is a way better teacher than Jyn, whose language skills are even worse than her parenting skills.

On the weekends, he takes them on tours through the country. Not the usual tourist attractions, no. Small and beautiful places, places only locals know. Seeing her daughter there reaffirms Jyn’s beliefs. Teresa belongs here.

On a hot Sunday, Jyn lags behind as Cassian and Teresa follow a trail leading to the top of a hill. When her daughter tires - she’s four after all and the temperatures are way above 30 degrees - Cassian hoists her up on his shoulders, earning a happy squeal.

Jyn slows down and stays further behind. Neither of them should see her eyes.

It is a punishment, she is sure of it.

Jyn never thought about having a family or even children. It never even seemed worth a thought. But now she sees what could have been. If they had talked more. If she hadn’t been such a coward.

How many tragedies in the history of mankind have occurred due to miscommunication? She isn’t sure.

But when she reaches the hill and they gaze into the country, taking in the marvelous view, it takes every bit of her strength not to break down. They look just like a normal young family.

Is it possible to mourn something that never existed?

Maybe it is justice that she experiences what could have been before she will lose it forever.

* * *

_She ain’t easy and she ain’t tough._

_She’s had it good, but then she’s had it rough._

_And I guess it don’t come to much._

_For all she’s got she ain’t got enough._

_And so you wonder just what she’ll do._

_She’s never known love but then she’s never known you._

_And it’s too bad those sad green eyes._

_Are so full of questions and so full of lies._

* * *

She wishes Cassian would treat her differently. Scream at her, curse her, maybe even attack her. Everything else but the cold, seemingly emotionless expression he used to wear at work. It’s just a another reminder of what she has lost.

But she forgets a lot of things.

That he always was, always is and always will be an excellent liar.

That his own family backstory is just as sad as her own. Both parents dead at an early age, bad experiences with foster homes. Trouble with the law.

And most of all: Cassian Andor is loyal. As loyal as Jyn is fierce. Loyal to a fault one may say.

Like the one time he charged five thugs who had Bodhi cornered in an alley outside of their favorite bar. He knew he would lose, knew he would suffer a terrible beating. But it didn’t matter. Bodhi was able to escape.

Like the one time he risked his job to safe Baze and Chirrut from getting deported.

Like the one time he stayed with her for an entire night after Saw died, even after she had treated him like crap the entire day.

Cassian Andor is loyal. The people he’s been loyal to might be far away and out of his life now. But there is still one person left. One he will always be loyal to, one he will always protect.

* * *

_You can’t hide your lyin’ eyes_

_And your smile is a thin disguise_

_I thought by now you’d realize_

_There ain’t no way to hide your lyin' eyes_

* * *

The night before their departure, they both end up on the front porch.

His face is still a mask, but they know as much as they like to avoid it, they have to talk now.

Jyn had anxiously waited for this day to come. Leave him behind again, leave all this behind, the memories, the glimpses of what could have been.

She doesn’t want to, she realizes. She wants her daughter to know her father, know her culture. But she’s also a good liar.

„I don’t want you to leave,“ he says after a few moments of silence.

Jyn is too shocked to even realize what he said exactly. Otherwise, her brain would have bombarded him with the question why he said “you“ instead of “her“.

It makes no sense for her that he would want them both to stay, as he made it very clear he could never forgive her for what she did. So she is prepared to fight for her daughter. She’s pretty sure her chances are good. The court will always side with the mother who took care of the child for his entire existence, not the absent Mexican father with an apparently criminal record.

But Teresa wouldn’t be unaffected. She would figure out the truth about her upbringing. Yes, she is only four. She is her parent’s daughter though. Mature at an early age, very observant. Yesterday, she asked if she can call Cassian “uncle“. Jyn fled the room to hide her tears.

In the end, the decision is easier than it appears: He is not willing to let his flesh and blood leave again after already missing several years of her life. And Jyn would rather die than leave her daughter.

He can’t go back to where she lives. Jyn is used to moving around constantly. The only time she had something she called home was while she was with Cassian. It is easier, she argues to herself, to stay here. Just a few days more. She can find a job. She can leave anytime she wants and take Teresa with her. Sooner or later, Cassian will grow tired of her.

Little does she realize that this time, she is lying to herself. And she succeeds.

* * *

Settling in isn’t easy. Cassian makes sure to take care of any legal trouble in Mexico, Jyn does the same for her home country. Bodhi, who has become a successful lawyer, is a great help.

Not for once, he asks if she is sure, if she knows what she is doing. He’s far too happy to see some of the old energy Jyn radiated once back there.

He’s a liar too. It nearly killed him not to tell Cassian over all these years. So if he sighs in relief when Jyn’s plane takes off, he reassures himself that he is happy for them. For Teresa.

He believes it.

* * *

Neither of them was so foolish to think simply having a kid together would magically solve all their problems. They might be liars, but they aren’t idiots. Years of separation can’t be fixed within days or weeks. Not to talk about the litte fact that she hid his daughter’s existence from him for four fucking years (and would have hidden her for even more years if fate or karma hadn’t intervened).

The thing is, back when they were together, they only hurt themselves with their fights. As both of them were familiar to pain, it didn’t matter that much. Not until the damage was done and it was too late to fix it.

Now, there’s another person that would be hurt. One that makes both of them feel the need to protect her at all costs.

And as young children are from time to time far too clever for their own good, Terasa soon realizes that this man is different from uncle Bodhi. Different, yet familiar. His eyes, his face and a million more little things. Teresa may be young and has never asked who her father was. But they can’t keep up the charade.

Three months after he first saw her in her mother’s arms on the side of a dusty road, Teresa finally asks him one evening: “Are you my daddy?“

His tearful reply is “Si.”

She hugs him full of childish joy and he hugs her back, his eyes turning into waterfalls. Jyn’s watching from the door, and when her and Cassian finally establish eye contact, it seems like she can spot at least a tiny bit of the affection and love that was once between them.

* * *

A child does not magically fix all the issues they had and the new issues that arise from day to day. Their fights are still full of venom and in the darkest hours, he even uses Teresa against her. Blames her for not telling him. Curses her.

Once, she would have been glad, would have hoped that he would say those words.

Now, they just hurt.

But the next day, both agree that their daughter deserves better.

* * *

 

Two years after they’ve moved in, they celebrate Teresa’s birthday. Bodhi, Baze and Chirrut all flew in and it seems like the old times came back for one day.

Three days later, they are sitting on the front porch again, Teresa happily asleep with the new fluffy toy Bodhi brought her.

The kiss is hesitant and both know what the other fears. What if it doesn’t work out this time? Should they stop right now?

The don’t get to make this decision. When Teresa catches them doing it again a few weeks later, the sheer happiness she exudes wipes away their fears.

At least for a little while.

* * *

_Time, it needs time to win back your love again_

_I will be there, I will be there_

_Love, only love can bring back your love someday_

_I will be there, I will be there_

 

_Fight, babe, I'll fight to win back your love again_

_I will be there, I will be there_

_Love, only love can bring down the wall someday_

_I will be there, I will be there_

 

_If we go again all the way from the start_

_I would try to change the things that killed our love_

_Your pride has built a wall, so strong that I can't get through_

_Is there really no chance to start once again? I'm loving you_

 

_Try, baby, try to trust in my love again_

_I will be there, I will be there_

_Love, our love just shouldn't be thrown away_

_I will be there, I will be there_

 

_If we'd go again, all the way from the start_

_I would try to change the things that killed our love_

_Yes, I've hurt your pride, and I know what you've been through_

_You should give me a chance, this can't be the end_

_I’m still loving you_

* * *

For years, Teresa has only one wish for her birthday. And although her parents, uncle Bodhi and uncles Baze and Chirrut shower her with presents, she is disappointed every single year.

But when she turns fifteen, she wakes up to a house filled with friends, decorations and sees mama and papa wearing the most formal clothes they have. With a smile, uncle Bodhi hands her her own formal dress, not too girly, but still beautiful. Just the way she likes it.

And only when the priest says the words and they are now officially a family, Teresa realizes that they have been one all along. Not a perfect one. But who cares, really? It is her family.

**Author's Note:**

> Lyrics in the description and title taken from:
> 
> \- "Lyin' Eyes" by Eagles  
> \- "For a Few Dollars More" by Smokie  
> \- "Still Loving You" by Scorpions
> 
> None of these songs are fitting for the storyline in its entirety, but some lines just seemed spot on and inspring (at least for me).


End file.
